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Changing Seasons

May 10, 2006

The car creeps up to the stop sign, a stillness in the air. Click, click, the blinker sounds. Roaring of the vehicle tempers to a lull. A deep breath fills my lungs and a sigh relieves me. Finals and work–done. Complete. Not having homework feels as though I’ve been freed from a prison! I suppose I forget how much pressure builds during the semester when I’m in it all. Somehow, the Lord keeps me strong and persistant as well as relaxed. However, the relief amazes me everytime. Summer’s ahead and knowing that it will not be filled with school excites me! I released the brake, accelerating at a mild pace, knowing home was only a few blocks away.

Bittersweet. Tonight’s the official last night that I’ll be living with Mary and Sarah. Seasons are changing–in life that is. I always find these times hard to process right away. So I don’t. I just go with it and wait until I’m ready to process. What a blessing it’s been to have Mary as my roommate for two years and Sarah for a semester. Lord, you are good to me; beyond good.

Ashley and I worked together for a year and now she’s gone–going to England to start a new season in her life.

Our paths crossed
Only for a time
She parts, taking the memories with her
England’s her destination
Life’s a funny thing
Perhaps we’ll never see each other again
Perhaps we will
The year’s over and now our paths diverge
Time has come to say ‘Goodbye’

As I drove home [aww, I really do feel as though B/CS is my home and not my parents’ house] from Victoria, the currents of wind through my car, the smell of summer, the sight of rolling hills and cattle, I wondered what it’d be like to ride with someone I really cared about–in a romantic way that is. Three years and coming since I’ve been in a relationship; three amazing years at that. Still, I wonder. What would we talk about or not talk about? Would we hold hands? Laugh at nothing at all and then again everything? Would we be comfortable in silence? Sing our favorite songs? …probably. Until then, I ride alone with You, Lord–that is until you say another may join us for the ride.

O Lord, you are good to me! May I never forget that!

Lord, You know; You know.

Slowly, I’m realizing the importance of ‘superficial’ conversations. Without them, without the shallow end of the pool, you’d never get to the deep end. I suppose I’ve always heard this said before, but I am beginning to remember its importance and truly grasp the weight of it. This plays out very much when discipling people. This I am learning.

Reading The Call…Realizing I want to be a ‘dreamer of the day’ and not just a daydreamer… “a dreamer of the day actually responds to the gap between vision and reality by closing it.”
Also realizing I do not want choice to debilitate me–we are saturated with decisions, choices and opportunities, causing us to stray from commitment. This leaves us in a pitiful state, really. [Funny I just read this chapter b/c Mary and I were just talking about this very problem only a few nights ago–Lord, You know what you’re doing]. That’s all I’ll say on this–I’m too tired to type more than that.


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