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cravings

February 11, 2012

     Spring Songbird

Call me weird, but I get cravings to play my flute. Yup, you read that right. Cravings like women get for chocolate. Cravings like kids get for candy and everything sweet. Cravings like how a hot summer day summons for ice-cream. I get cravings to play flute.

I can’t explain it other than I have this intense urge to play my flute and to express myself through music. I know that might sound strange to some people. (I have a few band friends from high school who can relate–you know who you are!^^)  I suppose it’s like an artist who suddenly has an urge to draw or paint– to let out their creativity in some way. Or the athlete who just has to go for a run. Or a mother who just has to hug her child.

I also get urges to go running– mostly when I have a ton on my plate and need some way to release the stress and sometimes simply because I need to run free and get out of the four walls I’m always bound to by work and responsibility– but for some reason an urge to go running sounds more justifiable than an urge to play flute. Eh.

So tonight I had two options: I really needed to get out and go for a run, or I really needed to play flute. Seeing as how it was FREEZING outside, I decided that I would stay in the warmth of the incredible Korean floor heaters– and, dust off my flute. Literally, there was dust on the case. *tear*

When I took out my flute tonight, it felt so natural~ the way a rider feels when he gets on his horse, or how two friends mingle together so perfectly. My fingers felt like they had come home as they settled on the keys.

I miss having the time to create music. It’s as if a part of me is being suffocated when I go too long without playing.

I suppose that my flute and music will always be a part of me. Even if I only see my flute every few months– I can’t seem to let it go longer than that before the urge creeps up on me, and I MUST play again.

I remember my flute lesson teacher (Dr. Murphey) told me that she went for a year without playing once, and she broke down and cried before picking it back up again. At the time, I think I thought she was a little extreme. But now, I know exactly how she felt. I think I would do the same.

Sometimes I just have to lose myself in the music. Or rather, find myself in the music.

Here’s a song that a friend wrote several years ago and he had me play flute for the recording:

Spring Songbird

I stumbled across this song that is quite moving~ until I can play again, I will live vicariously through music like this:

One Comment leave one →
  1. February 11, 2012 1:35 pm

    🙂 i think you’re pretty awesome dyanne. i wish i still had my violin. i would love to just pick it up and play randomly

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