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don’t be a “3-dates-then-sex” kinda girl

March 22, 2014

“Shhhh…” she cocked her head just enough to show her sister that she wanted to eavesdrop on the conversation behind her. Seconds passed and her posture hadn’t changed. Her sister attempted to break into the silence only to be shhshed again.

A minute passed. Looking in on these two it might have looked like a still-frame shot. Her sister, who now wanted to hear as well, reframed the picture; she leaned in but her position was one foot too far of hearing the two white guys speaking.

Her sister became aware of the Koreans speaking behind her and the hint of Kimchi wafting in the air. But her eyes– they remained glued on the mysterious conversation.

Finally. She broke the silence, “Okay, we can talk now.” As if wanting to move on she didn’t mention what the men had said.

“Wait a second, what were they talking about that was so important you had to stop to listen?” her sister demanded, wanting the conversation to be revealed.

She hesitated, then went on, “Well, I just wanted to make sure that I heard them correctly. One guy said, ‘I’m tired of having to wait two weeks to get sex.'”

“What?!” her sister asked with a little bit of shock.

“Ya, that’s why I had to listen,”  she sighed, her posture now more relaxed, leaning on the the table with her elbows.

“So…explain,” her sister insisted.

She paused, as if collecting her thoughts, “Well, the one guy was griping about Korean women and how it takes him at least two weeks before they’ll sleep with him.” She smoothed back her hair and continued, “He complained about how he couldn’t wait to get back to America where he could sleep with a girl after three dates. He went on and on about how annoyed he was that he couldn’t get sex after three dates.”

“Whoa. Seriously?” her sister said with disbelief and a bit of disgust. Well, maybe with a lot of disgust.

Her eyes rolled with annoyance at the conversation she had heard,”Yup. That’s why I had to listen. I thought I overheard wrong. Oh, but I didn’t.”

There was a bit of a pause in their movement and thoughts. Then, the two sisters picked at their food and changed the topic, almost wishing they hadn’t overheard the men after all.


This is a true story that happened to one of my friends (who will remain anonymous). As she relived that experience for me to hear, I couldn’t help but think about this video I saw the other day that came out of the Austin Institute:

Be the Gatekeeper and be a woman of dignity. Be a woman that holds a high standard for pursuit. Your body is not something to just give away. Keep your body for a man who will pursue you, cherish you, and commit to you.

I could go off on a rant, but I think that I’ll let these videos and articles speak for themselves.

Here’s a book that I read when I was in High School that opened my eyes to the world of teen sex all around me.

Here’s an article that I read recently about the legalizing of prostitution in Germany.

There are so many other good resources out there. These are just a few.

Respect your body. You are worth more than a one-night stand. You are worth more than just three dates.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Sarah Stewart permalink
    March 22, 2014 11:13 pm

    Amen Dyanne! What a great post! Thanks for speaking the truth about our worth….

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